Little did you retards now, water is a poison. True story.
You make it a point to bring a bottle of dihydrogen monoxide with you on your jaunts, whether it's a lowly 25 minutes or a lowly 3 miles. Awesome! This is a good way to keep your innards moist and your body hydrated. Then you go home and chug an entire gallon to balance things out and rid your body of toxins, free radicals, and semen. You're very likely to feel a little fucked up about an hour later. You brush it off and think you're just tired from your "run." I say "run" because this is soon going to be the bare minimum you'll be expected to do starting next week. Don't ignore this feeling! You're going to die.
Water is known as the universal solvent. Everything dissolves. This includes the shit inside your body that actually needs to be there in a reasonably undiluted state especially sodium. This imbalance in electrolytes in your body is going to kill you. Now you're asking me, "WHAT THE BALLOCKING FUCK DO I DO?!?!"
Well, don't piss yourself over it. Oh, wait. YES! Piss yourself! It's the best way for fluids to leave your body. Nothing more and nothing less. In the event of extreme water intake, a diuretic can help or call poison control. Keep your feet on the pavement, assholes...it's a much better alternative than using your face to run.
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