Car

On one of my weekend runs, I was blessed with a 10-mile jaunt.  It wasn't too hot, probably around early November, so around 85 or so...goddamn you, Phoenix, AZ.  I left in the afternoon, so I could have most of my evening to relax and do whateverthefuckitwas that I wanted.

In Phoenix, AZ there is nothing but sun nearly all the time.  To be very honest, we almost never see clouds during the day, ever.  That hot as balls star doesn't usually quit at any point in time - in fact, you can sunburn in January if you tried hard enough.  My point?  It fucking bright as balls outside.

A smart runner wears reflective gear so dumbfucks in their steel deathtraps who are more likely to hit-and-run than pay child support are less liable to hit you.  I am a smart runner.  Black shorts with reflective lines up and down the sides.  A brightly colored shirt.  Even reflective shoes!  Oh, and I'm white.  Cracker white.  YOU WILL SEE ME, YOU WILL NOT HIT ME YOU HUMAN SHITSTAIN.

Some 17-yr old ghetto-brat in her daddy's Range Rover decides she wants Starbucks NOW, and I mean right fucking now!  I'm jogging at this point approaching the turn in for the complex in which the glorious coffee dispensary is located.  This flaming cunt of the south decides I am too unimportant to wait for and guns it into the complex.  There is no waiting.

4 inches.  That's the amount of space between the front of daddy's car and my statuesque legs.  I came to a complete stop to let Ms. Bitchy McBitchface-Bitcherton into the complex without my leaving the imprint of my face/sweat/DNA on her driver's side window as I continue my forward-propelled direction.

The best part?  I screamed.  I screamed every obscenity and racial epithet I knew at her while those on the patio looked on in amazement at the vulgarity of my English.  The result?  I didn't feel any better.  I didn't feel good about berating her and everything about her.  But the ADRENALINE rush.  Holy fuckballs, I felt like God.  I felt like 3 Gods, Trigod, if you will.  The last 6 miles of my run were easy and about a minute and a half faster.

Lesson: Before a big race, put out an ad on Craigslist to get someone to come attempt to hit you with their car.  Protip: Make sure they fail.

Schedule!
MONDAY: Yesterday, yeah...I hope you rested.
TUESDAY: 3 miles
WEDNESDAY: 3 miles
THURSDAY: 3 miles
FRIDAY: REST!

Looks like we're cutting back, right?  We are!  You just ran 5, if you've been following along, and that's huge.  We're going to do ALL threes this week.  Next week it gears up again!  Enjoy!