As explained earlier for those of you who have bothered to pay attention this long, AKA my dedicated readers (seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?), you know that I reside a fresh, dirty hell known as Phoenix, Arizona. Not only am I a marathoner, but I'm also an agent of running death.
This week, weatherbug is telling me that it's going to be a hundred and fucking seventeen degrees on Wednesday. 117?! This makes me want to leave my air conditioned house as much as Muammar Gaddafi wants to leave Lybia. Do I REALLY feel like running outside in that? Fuck you, no, and thank you.
What to do? Honesty, treadmills aren't great for distance running because it takes some SERIOUS mental fortitude. Plus, I get bored looking at the same hot piece of ass in yoga pants...I'm not getting any closer to it, am I? Back to the point, in this case the treadmill just might be OK. You retards need to remember you're doing something that has LITERALLY KILLED PEOPLE. Perfectly healthy 20-30 year olds, flopping down dead on the pavement due to strain, water intoxication, or rogue sniper. Remember how hot the pavement is too...they fall, they become hamburgers on a flat grill.
Keep cool, run in the shade or maybe an indoor track to keep up with your normal running regimen. Running early in the morning helps, also.
Also, the Laveen 5K, click for location and more information. I'll see you there. I'll likely even be sporting something so you know who I am and can punch me in the neck for being so flippant and "intolerant." Whining assfaggots.
SCHEDULE!!!
MONDAY: REST
TUESDAY: 2 miles
WEDNESDAY: 3 miles
THURSDAY: 2 miles
FRIDAY: REST
Remind me of the race later on. I'm going to look into doing it.
ReplyDeleteSnipers in makeup?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.thefreedictionary.com/rouge
Yeah. I'm a wiseass. I believe ROGUE is the word you want.