Time

Don't be in a rush to do anything.  Unless of course you've been diagnosed with terminal rectal cancer and you've got about 19 seconds to twist off to a juicy picture of Bea Arthur.  But as far as running is concerned, where the fuck are you going so goddamned fast anyway?

If you're reading this, you're either lost or you're a beginner runner - no one is following this for "edutatainment" purposes.

Now let's run, my retards.

If you're just starting like I've perpetually been for the better part of the 21st Century, then you need a goal.  Your goal is to finish.  You will set no records.  Ever.  Unless it's biggest loser.  No, not the show...you're a loser.

That said, I had to take care of a little professional business for a bit and I couldn't keep up the blog.  Let's face it...you aren't important, and I am.  I got my BS in HR Management.  That's right...I use the "R" word and I fired people who use it.  We're a foul bunch, you really have no idea.

In the mean time, my maid/cook/wife just lost 100 pounds and I haven't; and now the little fuck-trophy is 2 and a half.  You're up to date.

There...now go walk 2 miles.  WALK!  You've got nowhere to be!